Greetings, fellow bored out of their heads blog readers.

My name is Forrest. I know. Not the most common name scribed upon the little sheet of paper that forever acknowledges and legitimizes our existence: the birth certificate. But, it's mine. And albeit an easy target for playground bullies to manipulate for their malevolent needs, what the fuck. It's mine. Besides, sleazy hippie chicks always dug it. And, anything to get in the front door, as my poor old deceased dirt bag Grandfather would say.