My stinking hobbies that no self respecting websurfer should give a shit about.

Buying intelligent looking books that I will never read, but my guests don't know that. Buying expensive looking guitars that I can't play, but my guests don't know that either. Eating too much. Thus, farting too much. Writing sentence fragments. And finally, diligently perfecting the art of being shut down by low quaility women in local drinking establishments. (Not to come off like an ego-freak here, but I really am the best at what I do. Even if it is only with respect to the above activities.)