Am I back in detention?
When one finds oneself as a priviledged member of the elitist organization known as the "JET Programme," there are of course certain adversities one must endure. This should come as no surprise. We are part of an elite unit here in Japan. The creme de la creme as they told us at our pre-departure orientation in a prestigous Portland, Oregon hotel. Adversities are part of the price of being a member of something superlative. Thus, begins my rant for today on the aspect of severe amounts of "office time" that one is never informed about prior to arrival to ones respective locations.
Many JETs, such as myself, find that they have, well, for want of a better phrase, not much to fucking do most of the time. I am referring to a lack of scheduled classes throughout the work week. This might immediately strike the casual reader as an asinine complaint. "What? You want more work? Are you a retard?" No I don't necessarily want more work. What I want is something to freaking do!
A common office policy within contracting organizations of the JET Programme is that in circumstances of JETs not having scheduled classes, they must be present in the office (generally in the Board of Education) for their contractually agreed upon weekly work hours. This generaly translates as 10 hours per week of classes followed by 25 hours per week of thumb inserted tightly in anus. I should note that the general mandatory weekly work hours for a JET are 35 per week, not including lunch breaks. Some offices don't really give much of a shit about keeping the JET on "lock down" in the office for the complete 35 hours and some are more anal than an Oregon redneck about the size of his 4x4 tires. So, when one is not at class one is often sitting at his or her desk with a dulled look from surfing crappy websites all day for entertainment. Some get so good at keeping themselves entertained they might even get a bit chafed when asked to do something pertaining to their expected duties outside of their consitent schedule. "But I was planning on looking at the website about the history of navel fuzz this Monday, and now you want me to translate this recipe for mayonnaise doughnuts into English? Shit! Now I'm all flustered. "
Really, the condition of JETs having to be present within the office when not befuddling and bombarding some poor Japanese child's mind with perplexing English grammar, can be a tedious exercise indeed. Why? Because I have seen CIA sensory deprevation chambers more entertaining than a Japanese government office. As I noted above, some offices see the futileness in "office time." These offices sort of casually, without making a stir, send the JET on their way, hopefully to do something meaningful and productive. Maybe even something within the community at large. Like organizing a beach clean-up day. (The beaches here sure need it.) Or, start a kite flying organization to benefit local midgets. In reality however, the JET just generally returns to his or her apartment to watch TV, and possibly, if feeling especially frisky, sit around and make fun of Japanese people with a neighboring foreigner.
Coming at this from a buisness perspective, I often ponder on the fact that I get paid way too much money for what I do. Shit, I'm being paid right now. I am writing a blog and surfing the net, looking at ridiculous websites on company time. Should I feel guitly for this? Maybe I should request more work? Well, guess what, I have. And, guess what happened? They said, "No." So do I feel guilty anymore? No.
Some JETs even go into deep contract negotiations so they can get paid the same amount for doing even less work. I refer to this modern phenomenon of laziness as "slacker entitlement." Due to my genetic and geographical "luck out" that was my random birth in an affluent English speaking majority country, I am therefore entitled to special privledges that escape the majority of human beings on this planet. Basically, at every opportunity, most of us try to get more time off. The reasoning behind this is quite logical to the disillusioned JET. "We aren't doing or accomplishing anything during the school vacation periods of no classes, so we might as well be doing nothing on a tropical island in South East Asia. So, Mister Supervisor, how does that strike you as a reasonable request?" The insane thing is that sometimes the contracting organizations go for it. The reasons for this continue to escape my feeble mind. But it happens. In this case, I compare the JET to an underworked, overpaid relief pitcher who goes on the DL right after signing a 10 year contract for 5 bizzillion bucks a day, then makes a request that instead of futzing around the bullpen eating all the sunflower seeds and unable to play, can instead just go home and play celebrity golf on their Sony Playstation, whilst simultaneously receiving an inflated paycheck. Ok, that was a clear example of hyperbole to get a cheap laugh, but it does make its point.
I should end this meandering rant by ackowledging that there exists the hyper-motivated JET that impressively utilizes this downtime in an efficient manner such as creating a website, studying for and then passing one of the higher level Japanese proficiency exams, even getting an online masters degree. These few are truly shooting stars in a JET clouded sky. Unfortunately, I am not one of these people. I prefer the history of navel fuzz myself, thank you.
Many JETs, such as myself, find that they have, well, for want of a better phrase, not much to fucking do most of the time. I am referring to a lack of scheduled classes throughout the work week. This might immediately strike the casual reader as an asinine complaint. "What? You want more work? Are you a retard?" No I don't necessarily want more work. What I want is something to freaking do!
A common office policy within contracting organizations of the JET Programme is that in circumstances of JETs not having scheduled classes, they must be present in the office (generally in the Board of Education) for their contractually agreed upon weekly work hours. This generaly translates as 10 hours per week of classes followed by 25 hours per week of thumb inserted tightly in anus. I should note that the general mandatory weekly work hours for a JET are 35 per week, not including lunch breaks. Some offices don't really give much of a shit about keeping the JET on "lock down" in the office for the complete 35 hours and some are more anal than an Oregon redneck about the size of his 4x4 tires. So, when one is not at class one is often sitting at his or her desk with a dulled look from surfing crappy websites all day for entertainment. Some get so good at keeping themselves entertained they might even get a bit chafed when asked to do something pertaining to their expected duties outside of their consitent schedule. "But I was planning on looking at the website about the history of navel fuzz this Monday, and now you want me to translate this recipe for mayonnaise doughnuts into English? Shit! Now I'm all flustered. "
Really, the condition of JETs having to be present within the office when not befuddling and bombarding some poor Japanese child's mind with perplexing English grammar, can be a tedious exercise indeed. Why? Because I have seen CIA sensory deprevation chambers more entertaining than a Japanese government office. As I noted above, some offices see the futileness in "office time." These offices sort of casually, without making a stir, send the JET on their way, hopefully to do something meaningful and productive. Maybe even something within the community at large. Like organizing a beach clean-up day. (The beaches here sure need it.) Or, start a kite flying organization to benefit local midgets. In reality however, the JET just generally returns to his or her apartment to watch TV, and possibly, if feeling especially frisky, sit around and make fun of Japanese people with a neighboring foreigner.
Coming at this from a buisness perspective, I often ponder on the fact that I get paid way too much money for what I do. Shit, I'm being paid right now. I am writing a blog and surfing the net, looking at ridiculous websites on company time. Should I feel guitly for this? Maybe I should request more work? Well, guess what, I have. And, guess what happened? They said, "No." So do I feel guilty anymore? No.
Some JETs even go into deep contract negotiations so they can get paid the same amount for doing even less work. I refer to this modern phenomenon of laziness as "slacker entitlement." Due to my genetic and geographical "luck out" that was my random birth in an affluent English speaking majority country, I am therefore entitled to special privledges that escape the majority of human beings on this planet. Basically, at every opportunity, most of us try to get more time off. The reasoning behind this is quite logical to the disillusioned JET. "We aren't doing or accomplishing anything during the school vacation periods of no classes, so we might as well be doing nothing on a tropical island in South East Asia. So, Mister Supervisor, how does that strike you as a reasonable request?" The insane thing is that sometimes the contracting organizations go for it. The reasons for this continue to escape my feeble mind. But it happens. In this case, I compare the JET to an underworked, overpaid relief pitcher who goes on the DL right after signing a 10 year contract for 5 bizzillion bucks a day, then makes a request that instead of futzing around the bullpen eating all the sunflower seeds and unable to play, can instead just go home and play celebrity golf on their Sony Playstation, whilst simultaneously receiving an inflated paycheck. Ok, that was a clear example of hyperbole to get a cheap laugh, but it does make its point.
I should end this meandering rant by ackowledging that there exists the hyper-motivated JET that impressively utilizes this downtime in an efficient manner such as creating a website, studying for and then passing one of the higher level Japanese proficiency exams, even getting an online masters degree. These few are truly shooting stars in a JET clouded sky. Unfortunately, I am not one of these people. I prefer the history of navel fuzz myself, thank you.
posted by The Punisher: at 11:01 AM
1 Comments:
"In this case, I compare the JET to an underworked, overpaid relief pitcher who goes on the DL right after signing a 10 year contract for 5 bizzillion bucks a day, then makes a request that instead of futzing around the bullpen eating all the sunflower seeds and unable to play, can instead just go home and play celebrity golf on their Sony Playstation, whilst simultaneously receiving an inflated paycheck." to carry this further, do what I do, don't show up at the bullpen, and force them to call you at home to check up on you... if your excuses check out enough times (Ferris Bueller it for the first year), soon you will be on insanely easy street. However, don't leave the country on a school day without taking nenkyu, I have a feeling even the best excuse will fall short then.
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