But My Tests Go to 11
Do you ever find yourself falling into these odd, quirky moods, in which your goal is to completely confuse the hell out of the closest person next to you by, from their prospective, speaking absolutely indecipherable jiberish? No? Well...hmm, must be just me.
You see, I am one of those odd lone wolf characters whose personal philosophy dictates that humoring oneself over others is the ultimate priority, since I'm the one who has to look at my ugly ass in the mirror everyday. (I have a very low mirror) My quirky humor gets satisfied before everyone else's.
To explain, I have on repeated occasions done personal pranks, jokes, and innuendos that were only funny to myself. Leaving everyone else starring at me in a mildly frightened manner, plus leaving me generally friendless for a period of 3 to 4 weeks. But, I cracked myself up, and that's all that matters to freaks like me.
The Japanese English teachers that are forced to work with me on a regular basis are my new hapless victims to the above. What I do to them is basically start referring to an obscure American pop-cultural reference that I absolutely know they will have no chance in hell of knowing, but for some unexplainable reason, find amazingly funny to myself. I also usually do this in a class in front of 20 to 25 even more confused onlooking students. Possibly for increased shock-value. I also must explain that these Japanese English teachers are people that struggle just borrowing a pen in English and whose American entertainment industry knowledge rarely stretches beyond The Carpenters, and little Snow White and her Seven Dwarfs. So, to be fair, I really don't have to reach that far to throw them off.
Today, I was administering an oral English interview test to some students. And, the Japanese teacher kindly showed me her assessment sheet for grading and explained that she would like me to evaluate each selected speech component (such as pronunciation) on a point scale from 1 to 10. I then told her, "But my tests go to 11." She froze. And started blinking her eyes in small furry animal like fashion. (This is what the Japanese teachers tend to do when they understand absolutely zilch of what I just said.) After sputtering a few odd, random sounds, she finally spit out, "what?" (I get this a lot, too.) "My tests go to 11," I repeated. "My tests are better." I'm totally messing with her for no reason whatsoever at this point. "eeleeven...," she said very slowly with rapidly increasing confusion. Now, I had completely fucked her brain. It was at this point that I knew the personal joke had gone far enough, and like a dog finally bored of playing with a garden mole, it was time to let go. "Oh, nothing," I said softly and went back to reality.
Now, if you aren't familiar with Spinal Tap, you also had no fucking idea what I was just talking about, either. Did you?
You see, I am one of those odd lone wolf characters whose personal philosophy dictates that humoring oneself over others is the ultimate priority, since I'm the one who has to look at my ugly ass in the mirror everyday. (I have a very low mirror) My quirky humor gets satisfied before everyone else's.
To explain, I have on repeated occasions done personal pranks, jokes, and innuendos that were only funny to myself. Leaving everyone else starring at me in a mildly frightened manner, plus leaving me generally friendless for a period of 3 to 4 weeks. But, I cracked myself up, and that's all that matters to freaks like me.
The Japanese English teachers that are forced to work with me on a regular basis are my new hapless victims to the above. What I do to them is basically start referring to an obscure American pop-cultural reference that I absolutely know they will have no chance in hell of knowing, but for some unexplainable reason, find amazingly funny to myself. I also usually do this in a class in front of 20 to 25 even more confused onlooking students. Possibly for increased shock-value. I also must explain that these Japanese English teachers are people that struggle just borrowing a pen in English and whose American entertainment industry knowledge rarely stretches beyond The Carpenters, and little Snow White and her Seven Dwarfs. So, to be fair, I really don't have to reach that far to throw them off.
Today, I was administering an oral English interview test to some students. And, the Japanese teacher kindly showed me her assessment sheet for grading and explained that she would like me to evaluate each selected speech component (such as pronunciation) on a point scale from 1 to 10. I then told her, "But my tests go to 11." She froze. And started blinking her eyes in small furry animal like fashion. (This is what the Japanese teachers tend to do when they understand absolutely zilch of what I just said.) After sputtering a few odd, random sounds, she finally spit out, "what?" (I get this a lot, too.) "My tests go to 11," I repeated. "My tests are better." I'm totally messing with her for no reason whatsoever at this point. "eeleeven...," she said very slowly with rapidly increasing confusion. Now, I had completely fucked her brain. It was at this point that I knew the personal joke had gone far enough, and like a dog finally bored of playing with a garden mole, it was time to let go. "Oh, nothing," I said softly and went back to reality.
Now, if you aren't familiar with Spinal Tap, you also had no fucking idea what I was just talking about, either. Did you?
posted by The Punisher: at 4:53 PM
1 Comments:
ahhh...zen and the art of enui maitnenance
or, I suffer from existential nihilism, therefore i am.
i am alone, but i go to 11...
"that was beautiful what do you call it?" (do u remember the name of the tune...)
i want to see a dwarf knock over a styromfoam stonehenge. i think it would make me feel better.
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