Dating in Hokkaido -- A tale of bad teeth

If there were a magic tooth fairy that did certain things beyond menial tooth collection, such as complementary cosmetic reconstruction, she has obviously never graced the dentally challenged land of Hokkaido. Not only are many an individuals pearly whites far from the above, but also the entire set seems to have just given up on pointing in any type of uniform direction, such as up and down for starters.

A funny thing is, mention the quality of a girl’s teeth to a local Japanese man as being a worthy component for physical critique, and they will often act as if you had just been going on about the importance of toenail symmetry. They can't believe you would even consider such a trifle thing. So, once again we are shown that beauty truly lies in the eye of the beholder. But, God, you really have to see some of the teeth here before you take sides. Holy shit!

I remember meeting a snack bar mama-san one time whose only major physical flaw was the fact that her teeth pointed straight out as if trying to escape from her oral cavity. Her front incisors were the first thing to greet customers upon entering her establishment because, due to their augmented forward projection, appeared to be waving at you. Even when attempting to seal her lips, the tips would still poke out like two trapped figures under a garage door. This often made focused conversation with her impossible.

This leads us to dating. Over and over again, one finds oneself meeting, what at first glance appears to be a pretty girl. Then she smiles, and -- Ughh! It's as if the evil hurricane of dental death rose up to destroy something you had just found sexually stimulating. Poor girl. (But even poorer you) The cruel effect of this ends up being that if one wants to finally snuggle up next to something at night other than another "Naught School Girls" DVD, one has to make a concession -- tooth quality can no longer be a factor in finding a dating partner.A sharp lowering of various personal standards is often a central part of the difficult process of Hokkaido countryside acclimation.It is actually amazing what one can learn to tolerate even after only one year here. (And, now, after two, I could probably fuck an alien and enjoy it.) So, your tale of dating becomes a tale of bad teeth, and if you happen to have the good fortune of grabbing hold of a girl with a civilized set of choppers, hold onto to her like gold. You have now just hooked a keeper, my boy. Well done!