Oops...I shit my pants. Now what am I going to do? Good thing Japan has underwear vending machines. Well, sort of....

Yes. Japan. The vortex of oddities that never cease to shock me. As of recently I had been under the false presumption that I was officially Japan weirdness acclimated. But this one got my ribs especially tickled last night when I, for a reason I prefer left untold, discovered something new. Japan has underwear vending machines located in bowling alleys. Hmmm.... "Very interesting," says the writer as he strokes his greasy goatee in essence of the great observer. Now every inch of the market has indeed been saturated in this bizarre land. I think I remember reading somewhere, Harper's weekly perhaps, where it is common marketing knowledge that once underwear vending machines show up in bowling alleys, then every capatilistic gap has in fact been filled in a society. The only thing left to do is export the idea to the less fortunate underwear deficient countries throughout Asia. I was referring to India in particular. A place where donning a table cloth is still considered formal wear.

But before I get too carried away with all of this, I should include that the variety offered within the underwear vending machine sphere is in fact disappointingly limited. Actually, it seems to have been completely restricted to dark blue women's thongs. "Now hold on one cotton pickin' minute!", some might say at this point. "Men shit themselves randomly in public at a much higher rate than women." So if accidental public number 2s are the circumtances the business behind the scheme are trying to exploit, then they need to get their shit together a little better than this. But now I must accept the possibility that my belief behind the reasoning for deciding to make a high level decision of placing a thong vending machine in every bowling alley in Japan as being addressing the needs of the undisciplined bowel purjer as, well, wrong . So if the realistic objective of having an underwear vending machine in a bowling alley is not to help out little Shingo-kun after he accidently dribbles a little out the wrong end in celebration for that 200 plus game he rolled. Then why? My only conclusion, and one that I perpetually fall back on again and again remains the same: Beats the fuck out of me!