As God as my witness, I vow to eat every last shred of food in this apartment before I move!

As I will be moving out of my apartment in less than a month’s time, I am faced with a daunting task – eating all the food in my cupboards that I have been stubbornly avoiding for ages.

Now, I could easily just throw it all away and be done with it. That would be fine for a normal person, but…apparently I am not one of those. I am a cheap bastard (as well as a flaming psychopath according to some). So, on the grounds of weirdness, the food will be eaten. There is no further discussion.

However, the problem lies in the fact that having bought most of the stuff at a Japanese grocery store upon arrival, I still have no freaking clue what half of it is. What appeared to be salad dressing turned out to be starting fluid for weed eaters (obviously won’t be eating that), and what appeared to be starting fluid for weed eaters turned out to be, well, salad dressing.

Also, I have 7 different kinds of seaweed on the top shelf? What in the hell am I going to do with 7 different kinds of seaweed? Coupled with bottle upon bottle of various black sauces, I’m looking at some kind of odd seaweedy soy sauce gumbo.

So, if anyone out there has any suggestions for what to do with the above items plus 3 bags of extremely bitter green tea, some Thai rice noodles, 7 unknown substances, 2 onions, and an aging bottle of ketchup – please let me know! I’m open for suggestions.

And by the way, I never would of thunk it, but soba noodles and ketchup ain’t half bad.