WARNING! Riding this bike to American schools may cause you to get your ass kicked.

Prolonged contact with this bike on American school grounds may result in the following side-effects:

wedgies (regular, frontal, propeller, rippers, sky-highs, hangers, and atomic variations), Flying Dutchmens, miscellaneous beatings, head toilet flushes - swirlies or smelly hurricanes, wet willies, Texas Chili Bowls, shoe heel attacks - or flat tires, eye gouges, rubber band snappers, swifty scrotum kicks, noogies, pink bellies, nipple cripples - also known as the titty twister or purple nurple, various verbal abuses ranging from the mild to "your momma's a &%$^%" levels, 5-star hand slaps, hot foots, dastardly hair pulls, Indian burns, non-consensual enemas, shin-crackers, good old fashioned ass-kickings, and of course - diarrhea.