Enough with the penis questions, already!

For some reason, it has now become commonplace at social gatherings with Japanese people for my penis to consistently be the subject of conversation for at least 15-20 minutes. This has lead me to believe that the Japanese universally suffer from "foreigner-penis-fixation-disorder." A disorder which causes the inflicted to become infatuated with foreigner penis -- specifically dimensions and other various spacial aspects of the appendage. This condition thus causes its sufferers to fixate on the foreign penis once within its midst. As I stated above, a typical outbreak seems to only last for 15-20 minutes, although cases lasting anywhere from 12 hours to as long as several days have been reported.

I kid you not when I say that on numerous occasions the first thing a new acquaintance has asked me was related to my personal genital dimensions. Now I am by no means shy with regards to the above topic, but even I have found myself a bit taken aback at the forwardness of such an inquiry. And they do it so shamelessly! This is a people famous for their demure behavoir. It just reinforces the irony of the Japanese that once they get a bit of liquor in them, watch out! Tiger on the loose. Your penis is in their sites.

I've even had the occasional honor of a couple fellows decideding to just have a feel for themselves upon introduction. "Wow! Nice to meet you, too, Shinji-kun. That's one hell of a handshake you've got there. " The crazy thing is, is that I often find myself second guessing whether or not I should return the favor, or risk breaking some delicate cultural faux pas. It is then at this point when my rationale self takes over and concludes that cultural sensitivity can take a flying fuck. I then immediatly break into defensive position so as to ward off any succeeding penis attacks.