Why learning Japanese is stupid.

• Japanese people can be really boring to talk with.
• No matter how fluent you become, most Japanese will still be terrified at the thought of speaking with you. Period.
• Kanji.
• Kanji.
• People will cock their heads in confusion and repeatedly not understand a single word you just said.
• The only person who will have a shred of patience to help you with Japanese will be your boyfriend or girlfriend. (Albeit a lonely grandma-san has been known to show enthusiasm.) Japanese wives and husbands just learn English, because, well, your Japanese sucks, and they love you too much to just tell you.
• Long vowel versus short vowel distinctions are just wrong. And should be quickly purged from the earth.
• How many other countries speak Japanese?
• Kanji.
• You really only need to learn a handful of words anyway: "let's go," "let's drink," "let's eat," "let's eat and drink some more," and "penis."

OK, for decency's sake, here are some reasons to learn Japanese while in Japan.

• So Japanese people will stop trying to speak English with you.
• Because an extra bag at a convenience store can really come in handy sometimes.
• You just have this burning urge to know "why" the locals do some of the silly things they do.